If you are tossing up whether or not to start dating again after a divorce, you aren't the only one. You wonder if you're ready? Will it be uncomfortable or awkward? Will your children have a problem with it, is it too soon? Do you have the right wardrobe and knowledge? Where does one even go to meet women anymore? What is new in dating?
All these are some of many common questions that go through one's head after breaking up from a long term relationship or marriage. Feeling unsure and even somewhat scared is totally normal. Jumping back into the dating scene can be daunting to say the least. However, the feeling of connecting with someone is pretty nice. The beautiful exchange of energies, the comfort, affection, care, laughs.
With some experience, we can assure you that there is life after divorce. :) Some of the benefits and positives of dating again are discussed in this article. We're also adding in some solutions at the end on how to ease back into the dating pond - one toe at a time! ;)
Benefits of Dating After Divorce
Many divorcees find that having a simple, authentic conversation with someone who is actually interested in you is pure bliss. Imagine the pleasure of a conversation without sarcasm, criticism, argument, accusation or other toxic reactions. A beautiful woman sits opposite you, twinkling eyes, mischievous smile, laughing at your jokes, wondering what your kiss feels like, wanting to know more about you... It's pretty good for the ego, and a great way to build your confidence. Kissing someone new is pretty exciting too! Ahhh the anticipation of a first kiss.. The stomach butterflies when she moves closer and you smell her perfume.. Perfume she wore just for you..
Imagine when dating now, you know all the signs of exactly what you DON'T want in a partner.
You aren't committed to anyone - you can date as many or as few women as you like, to get accustomed to your masculinity again. Not that we encourage being a 'player', but the freedom that comes from dating after divorce can be quite thrilling, and go a long way to building your confidence again. Even if not dating, you're free to interact with and talk to any women you like, with no obligation to anyone. As you get to know other people, you get to know yourself again. And that delicious, wonderful moment when you realize you are feeling a connection again.
Enjoy spending time with someone who respects you, appreciates what you do, and doesn't expect more from you than what you're willing to give. Often dating someone else/ others and receiving that kind of respect and validation can really bring home the fact that this divorce/ breakup was the best thing you could have done. It can remind you of just how little your former partner really did appreciate you, and make the whole experience much easier to handle. Being with someone who you know is 'into you' too is quite intoxicating and deeply healing.
If you have children, you can enjoy some time away from them in mature adult company. Too many parents lose their identity and lose touch with their sensuality and passion, by submitting to 'parent' role. You are still a vibrant, vital, virile person! Stay out dancing all night, drink a little too much, make all the noise you want when you get home. It can be quite liberating.
Flirtation! The pleasure of anticipation and teasing, the wonderful experience of feeling desirable to someone again will make all those little aches go away. :)
Solutions After Divorce
To slowly ease your way back into dating, we recommend meeting with a professional dater, who will know exactly how to make the evening go smoothly, overlook any fumbles, bring you up to speed on the latest dos and don'ts in social dating, fill you in on all your good points so you can work them, and who won't expect a single thing from you. A well bred and elegant escort will never make you feel like you are with a paid companion. It will feel exactly like any other date because she is like any other woman. She's just more savvy with communication and knows just what you need to feel comfortable. There is no obligation for anything but the experience itself.
Another way to ease into things is to approach an introduction agency. Many gentlemen seek professional match making these days, as this eliminates all the trawling through possibilities, awkward dates and embarrassing fix-ups from friends. A quality introduction agency will match women to your specific preferences, so you don't waste your time. (But don't waste your time on a mediocre introduction service, as you may only meet unsuitable women. Many general introduction agencies recruit as many women as possible, and will basically arrange meetings for you with whatever women they have on their books.)
Internet dating as a possibility, although this to can be fraught with exhausting searches, many of which are made up of false photos and incorrect ages and heights... Be very careful with who you meet online also, as these are strangers. You need to protect yourself.
Finally when you've enjoyed a few dates with people who are accustomed to dating, you will be poised to ask someone out; or indeed make your current dating relationship more serious, long-term or permanent. Some men keep their elite escort mistress on retainer for weekly or monthly meetings or bring her to business trips or vacations as a travel companion. Others find themselves quite beguiled by their date, and can approach the agency about the possibility of dating her exclusively (ie she will not meet with any other gentlemen, and enter into a full time agreement with you).
Rest assured, re-entering the dating scene doesn't have to be so scary, when you allow loving and compassionate people to hold your hand and guide you through to your own path of independence and confidence!